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How God's Word Helped Me Over Using My Mouth to Settle Scores in My Marriage
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How God’s Word Helped Me Over Using My Mouth to Settle Scores in My Marriage

Surely, there is the power of God’s Word verses. If you have practically experienced the power of the Word of God, you will completely agree with me.

I am sure there are still self-confessed Christians who still doubt the importance of the Word of God to their lives and situations. I know this because of my Christian counseling works over the years.

However, you don’t need to belong to this crowd, you need to be sure and confident about God’s Word and all it says and promised.

I want you to read this practical experience of mine on how God’s Word helped me in my marriage. I had a complete story in my short Christian guide, How I Overcame Violent Anger which is available in all estores online.

Please read the story…

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It was another morning of heated argument in my home as myself and my wife had another word contest over an issue that should have found a solution with a little display of maturity on the part of both of us. As usual, I gave all I could give with my mouth and left for the office.

When I had some time for myself at the office, God decided to use the opportunity to make me ruminate over what happened at my home yesterday evening. A slight disagreement had ensued between my wife and me, as usual, used my mouth to settle scores. My utterances were terrible and unchristian. I went as bad as uttering negative, anti-Christian statements against my wife!

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          My Mind Opened Me Up to Realities

But, I said to myself, It was all her fault. She started it all.

Here you go again, my mind called me to order. She always gets the blame for starting it all.

Yes, I responded immediately as If I was fighting a cause I have held on to all my life. She did what I have always warned her not to do. She started it all.

Okay, my mind responded immediately. If she started it all, should that then lead to the use of such foul statements as you used this morning?

That last thought brought me back to some common sense.

I know. I was wrong with that.

You have always known that but you kept on doing the same thing every time there’s a little disagreement between you and your wife.

I felt uncomfortable and disappointed with myself.

You, my mind continued the accusations. Even went as far as proclaiming evil utterances over your wife and marriage.

I was wrong.

You need to pray seriously about this violent anger problem of yours. It is always the genesis of the negative utterances and actions you always take whenever there is a little disagreement between you and your wife.

The knock on the door of my office brought me out of my reflection and in came my Secretary to drop a file on my desk.

          How God’s Word and Spirit Has Helped Me

God’s Spirit has helped me on several occasions with relevant scriptures that would help me to stop violent anger and negative utterances. I particularly loved what the Bible writer, James wrote Chapter 3, verses 5-9, “Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire by hell.”

“For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.”


The tongue, though little can build and destroy. Using it negatively on your spouse, your home, and wherever will not do any good to your cause on this earth and in your marriage.

Another scripture (James 1:19) that helped me was: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”.   I realized I am never by God’s divine rule expected to react to issues immediately; I began to put this negative habit in check. I also began to invest quality thoughts into an issue before I react to it. I also learned to keep quiet or withdraw from a hot spot of quarrel and disagreement.

          Help From God’s Word for Your Marriage

You will greatly help your marriage if you learn to use your mouth and your words rightly. You should understand that words create. Remember that God framed the world with His Word. We are created in His image and in His likeness so our words can also create.

Now what you allow it to create will largely depend on you. I advise you to use your words rightly to create good and positive things. I had to pray and seek the face of God intensely to remove those things I created in my family and marriage with my hot anger and negative utterances.

          How to use Your Words Correctly

  • Use it on the platform of prayer. Your words and mouth should pray for your marriage, spouse, and family.
  • Use it to confess good things about your spouse. Speak good things into the life of your spouse consistently. I always try to do this after I have spent some time in the presence of the Lord and at every family morning devotion.
  • Learn not to react and talk during any heated argument. I learned to leave the spot of argument and take a stroll. Usually, my anger cools off, and the right words well up in my heart when I come back.
  • Learn to give words of encouragement to your spouse and children. Words like, ‘Don’t worry dear, things will tum out fine’, ‘I strongly believe in your ability to get this project done, I am solidly behind you,’ will always produce good fruits in your marriage and family.


Remember you should never use your mouth to settle scores and you should never use your mouth and words to create unfavorable situations in your marriage and family. Learn to use your words and utterances correctly in your marriage.

How have you used your words in your marriage? Can you share your experience with me and others in your comments?

I am a Christian personal development expert. God helped me to win the battle over hot anger and also to learn how to enjoy my marriage at the early stage of getting married. My book, How I Overcame Violent Anger and 6 Mistakes I made as a husband has helped others and they will surely help you too.

New: Enroll for My new Course: Anger Management for Christians

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This online course teaches you how to handle anger in a Godly way. It’s filled with the practical stories of how I had to fight the good fight of faith against violent anger. Please enroll at Anger Management Online Course

Article written by:

I love to teach and use success principles from the Bible to solve practical problems. My many books tell all the stories. All problems have their solutions in the Bible. I am married with kids.

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