Course Title: How to stop Unforgiveness in a Marriage
Course Subtitle: Biblical reasons for you to forgive your spouse
I have had the opportunity to talk to and counsel quite a few couples who are having problems with their marriages. I have discovered some interesting factors that are the cause of the troubles in these marriages.
One of the factors that stood out amongst these factors is – unforgiveness!
I took a decision to do something about it with the help of the Holy Spirit. I am presenting my findings to you in this online course.
I sincerely hope you will be able to take all the lectures and also do the exercises under each lecture.
As usual, we are open to your questions here.
Test Questions: You will be able to take the test questions for this course at the end of the lectures.
Note: If you will rather prefer to take this course in video format (Video format will be available soon)
Lecture 1: Devil’s hot fight against Christian Home
I have always believed that the devil is seriously fighting a hot battle against Christian homes, families, and marriages in this end time. The pit of hell and its power players are already ganging up against Christian marriages and homes and from my humble observations over the past 10 years, it’s clear they are having an edge in this battle.
I have had the opportunity to counsel, intervene and pray along with couples who have issues in their marriages over the years and I have seen how couples are already giving the chance for the devil and his cohorts to have this unfortunate edge in this battle.
It’s so sad that this is happening this way especially because we should be the ones that should be on top of the fight and battle. We should be the ones who should be crushing the head of the devil with our feet.
We should be the ones who should be resisting the devil and using the platform of prayers as couples to tear apart the plans and purpose of the kingdom of the devil.
We should because we have been equipped to do it because Jesus has given us the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the powers of the enemy (Luke 10:19).
How the devil is fighting the battle
Just as I said earlier, it’s sad that we are not living up to the billing. These are the ways the devil is fighting the battle and the unfortunate results he is getting:
- There are so many divorce cases even among Christian couples.
- Many children from Christian homes are showing apathy to the gospel of Jesus because the parents have failed in their duties of teaching or mentoring them.
- Many Christian homes don’t have a family altar where they worship, study the Word, and pray together as a family.
- Many Christian couples have voted for adultery and are consistently unfaithful to themselves.
As a result of the above-mentioned problem areas, we have lost the strength to fight the battles effectively and are conceding victory to the devil.
In the next lecture, I will show you an important sting the devil is using to weaken marriages of Christians and I call it unforgiveness. I will be writing more about how the devil uses this sting in this course.
Share this lecture with your friends on social media.
Just before you go:
I wrote an interesting Christian romance novel that’s already generating attention and discussions online and offline. It’s called The Prostitute.
Read what a reader of the novel has to say:
“In marriage, understanding is the key. Marriage is a contract that involves two parties receiving each other the way they are. It’s more than a wedding or procreation, it’s about living together and correcting the ills of themselves. In other words, marriage is all about ”two forgiven forgivers”. ‘The prostitute’ is a revelational and expository book for all ages without limitation.” Bada O Marvelous
– Founder, Ablaze Christian Outreach.
You can watch a video narration of a part of the novel at The Prostitute video
Lecture 2: The Sting Called Unforgiveness
In the last lecture, I told you I was going to show you one of the stings and poisons that the devil uses to cause troubles in marriages.
Unforgiveness is the sting and poison
I want you to read this interesting vision God showed me in a night vision many years ago at the early stages of my marriage.
This vision is one of the most dramatic visions I have seen to date especially as it relates to marriages, homes, and families. God chose to use that revelation to warn me and put me back on the part of spiritual decency at that stage of my marriage.
God’s Spirit taught me this lesson on forgiveness in marriage at this time to help me and my marriage. Just as I said, It was the early stages of our marriage and ministry and because of so many reasons my wife and I were always having one issue or the other with each other.
Unknown to me, it was already creating Unforgiveness in me and it was affecting a lot of things around me. It was also affecting what God wanted to do in my life and marriage and ministry.
Well, it was unknown to me but it was very clear to God and He decided to help me out (or rather help us out).
The dramatic revelation
One night, He showed me a dramatic revelation, one I’ll never forget in my lifetime.
In that night vision, I saw a woman walking angrily towards a room in a hotel with a lady behind her encouraging her along the way.
On getting to a particular room, she forcefully opened the door and found her husband on top of another woman. The husband and the mistress on the bed were surprised to see the woman and out of fear disengaged from each other in their nakedness and the husband rolled on the floor begging his wife to forgive him. The mistress was also terrified not knowing what would befall her.
The wife moved towards her husband on the floor, raised him up on his knees and laid her hands on his head and began to pray over him the following lines of prayer:
“You are my head; no woman will snatch you from me. You are my husband; the devil will not take you away from me…”
The wife disappointed all
The mistress and the woman who led the wife to the hotel room stood speechless wondering what must have made that wife take the action she was taking.
The woman who led the wife to the hotel room thought the wife should have turned the hotel room into a war zone.
The mistress thought the wife would have allowed the devil to influence her to become violent and cause more harm.
The husband also expected his wife to use any available bottle in the room to break his head.
But the wife surprised them all. She also surprised the devil and put him where he belonged. She forgave the husband even before she got to the hotel room and also prayed for him.
Forgiveness is a necessity in marriage
This revelation was a blessing to me and my wife at that time and it clearly shows the necessity for forgiveness in a marriage.
Because of the way God made women (the Bible says they’re the weaker sex), Christian husbands must learn to forgive their wives. The truth and reality are that your wife will always do something that will get you angry or get you offended, you must learn to forgive.
I agree that sometimes you will need the help of God to do this. This is the reason why you must learn to pray about it if you notice you are finding it difficult to forgive your wife over any issue.
Unforgiveness in a marriage will always stall development, breakthrough, and promotion. Don’t allow it for anything.
I am sure the reaction of this wife surprised you too. I want to read your reaction to this message and to this course or to anything that has to do with our organization and website.
Now, in the next lecture, I will show you more surprises and you will also read more about what this email course is meant to do to you and your marriage.
Watch the video narration of The Prostitute novel today (A story of extreme love, fury, and jealousy)
I wrote an interesting Christian romance novel that’s already generating attention and discussions online and offline. It’s called The Prostitute.
Read what another reader of the novel has to say (I showed you under the last lecture):
“I must confess the book was very touching, it taught me a lot about tolerance and adaptability to and with any personality. If Christ could forgive us how much more us. I have promised never to condemn no matter how terribly hurt I might be.” Tayo
You can watch a video narration of a part of the novel at watch video sample
Lecture 3: Forgiveness is a command
Just before I begin to show one of the reasons why you must not allow unforgiveness in your marriage, let me tell you what a user of my new Christian romance novel said about the work of fiction when he read it:
“Just gone through The Prostitute…thus far, it’s been captivating. I want to know what becomes of Steve and Serena. I am presently going through the second chapter…So far, I am enjoying the plot!” – Odeyemi Oluwasanm
You can watch a video sample narration of The Prostitute novel today (A story of extreme love, fury, and jealousy).
Now to the lecture of today.
I am using the remaining lectures of this course to show some of the reasons why you must not allow unforgiveness in your marriage.
I believe if you understood these reasons, you will be able to fight the battle against unfrogivenss effectively. I am starting with the fact that forgiveness is a commandment from God.
Obedience is better than sacrifice
The earth and our world were thrown into problem and confusion when Adam decided to disobey God’s commandment. Before the disobedience, things were going on smoothly and according to God’s will and plan for their lives and the earth.
The devil was at the head of that unfortunate event. The devil delights in us disobeying commandments. He knows there are always consequences after every disobedience.
I want you to read the following scriptures:
Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will.”
Matthew 6:12: “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us.” NRSV
Matthew 5:7-12: “Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.”
Those are clear scriptures on forgiveness. It’s dangerous not to obey the commandment of God to forgive. It’s dangerous when you fail to forgive your friends, and neighbors or anyone. I want to believe it’s more dangerous when you don’t obey the commandment to forgive your wife or spouse.
Why did I say this?
Read the passages below:
Mark 10:8: “And the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
1 Peter 3:7: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the … being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Forgive your wife forgive yourself
Since the two of you are one flesh, if you don’t forgive your spouse, then it means you have decided not to forgive yourself. There are dangerous consequences and repercussions if you don’t forgive yourself. It draws back your progress and development on all fronts.
Forgiving others their sins or offense against you is a commandment from God and you must understand that this is a good reason why you have to forgive your spouse so that you can demonstrate your love to God as Jesus said in the scripture below:
John 15:10: “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.”
I hope this reason is very clear and I hope it will arm you to fight the battle against unforgiveness in your marriage.
I will be showing you another reason in the next lecture.
About The Prostitute Novel
My new Christian romance novel was inspired by God’s Spirit to address this agent of the enemy in marriages. After we printed the first set of copies of the novel offline and began distribution, the Lord said to me: “Bring heaven into people’s homes.”
I strongly believed the Lord was instructing us to increase the distribution of this novel into homes and marriages.
You should check out more information about this interesting novel where a strict Christian man who married a notorious prostitute, had to endure many heartbreaks and disappointments to make his marriage successful.
Read what another reader of the novel has to say (I showed you one earlier):
“I must confess the book was (is) very touching, it taught me a lot about tolerance and adaptability to and with any personality. If Christ could forgive us how much more us. I have promised never to condemn no matter how terribly hurt I might be.” Tayo
You can watch a video narration of a part of the novel at the watch video sample
Lecture 4: The divine connection between couples
In the last lecture, I showed you a beautiful reason why you must obey the commandment of God for you to forgive your spouse. I also explained to you why you will be able to put in the required efforts to disallow unforgiveness in your marriage if you know the reasons.
Today, I am showing you another beautiful reason.
You are one flesh
Let us imagine a situation whereby you pick up a hammer and you suddenly begin to hit your finger with it. I believe it’s not going to be a savory experience for you.
It’s just the same way if you decide not to forgive your spouse. I mentioned this in passing in the earlier lectures but it deserves more explanation in this lecture. Many marriages are struggling in the areas of their finances due to this.
How Unforgiveness hindered the prayers of a family
I once watched a Christian film where a lady had deliberately stopped her schooling to help her fiancé complete his University education. By the time he finished school, she could not go ahead again with her schooling.
They decided to get married after the man got a good job. After some years, the husband became pompous and began to maltreat his wife. Then one day, he overstepped his boundaries by making the following unfortunate statement when his wife asked him for money:
“Woman, how come all you know and want is money. Is it because you see me counting money. I am using this for something more important things than what you want to use the money for. Please stop disturbing me.”
The woman did not give him any reply and felt betrayed and insulted by her husband’s unfortunate and irresponsible statement and attitude towards her.
Then the man lost his job and couldn’t find another one. All efforts to get another job was falling through. The couple began to pray together over the issue but nothing changed.
One day, the man decided to have a 3- day special prayer all alone. Then he saw a revelation on the first day where an angel sent to deliver the results of his prayers to him was stopped by his wife from delivering them to him. This man was surprised and felt that must have been silly pranks being played out from the pit of hell.
On the second day, he saw the same revelation and it was the same on the third day. Then he knew something was wrong. He felt bad that his wife was the one hindering his prayers and causing him all the troubles.
He hated his wife the more and decided not to share the dream with her.
He took the case to his pastor and the pastor asked him to give him some days to pray over the issue. On the second day, the Lord gave the pastor the full explanation of the revelation.
The wound had not healed
The pastor sent for the man and his wife and while pleading with the wife, the wife remembered the statement made by her husband and understood she had not forgiven her husband.
Even though she felt she had forgotten about the issue but she had not really forgiven her husband and this was preventing answers to their prayers and also causing them untold hardship. This is the reason why sometimes, issues of unforgiveness must be given serious attention and prayed over so that it can be adequately dealt with.
I learned this many years ago and I have always used the platform of prayers to deal with it especially when it has to do with settling issues between myself and my wife.
You are one flesh with your spouse and heirs of the divine grace and goodness from God. If you don’t forgive each other, it can hinder your blessings from God and also stopped answers to your prayers.
The Bible gave a straightforward instruction to husbands and I am treating that in the next lecture.
Please ensure you share this lecture with your friends. You may be saving a marriage if you do so.
Have you checked out my new novel, The Prostitute?
It dramatically demonstrated how couples can tolerate themselves and forgive themselves and also enjoy the blessings of God over their marriages and families.
You need to check it at The Prostitute Novel video
Lecture 5: The evil Effect of bitterness
I’m here to show you another good reason why you don’t have to allow unforgiveness in your marriage. Remember that if you understand the good reasons, you will be able to embrace the need to fight the battle of stopping unforgiveness in your marriage. Please share this stop unforgiveness in a marriage course with your friends on social media and save a marriage.
Another good reason is that God’s Word says…
Don’t be bitter about your wife
I always refer to this as a direct or straightforward instruction to husbands. In essence, the Lord is saying, “Hey, husbands, you can’t afford to be bitter about your wife. If you are bitter about them, you are bitter about yourself. It’s also like you are putting hot coals of fire upon your head.”
In this situation, as bitterness is dangerous to your own physical and spiritual health or wellbeing, it’s also very dangerous to your marriage.
If you are always bitter about your wife, it’s like you are setting your home on fire. Also, bitterness shows there is the presence of unforgiveness. When you forgive, you will be able to remove bitterness.
Bitterness puts your marriage under severe pressure
Husbands don’t be bitter about your wife but ensure you always forgive her and allow bitterness to be wiped out of your heart and mind. Bitterness will put you under severe internal pressure and also puts lots of pressure on your marriage and home.
When I caught a revelation I am good to share with you in the next email tomorrow, I had to submit completely to the Holy Spirit to help me learn not only to forgive my wife’s sins against me but to allow peace in our homes.
Unforgiveness is one of the key causes of bitterness in a home. Couples must understand this and ensure they always put in spirited efforts with the help of the Holy Spirit to stop it.
In my new novel, The Prostitute, the main actor, Steve, a strict and morally upright company executive who chose to get married to a notorious prostitute, had to learn how to stop unforgiveness in his marriage.
This act helped him to disallow bitterness and it went a long way to preserve his marriage and to win the heart of his wife for himself and for God.
I want you to check out this Christian romance novel today.
Lecture 6: Hindrance to prayers (Stop unforgiveness in a marriage course)
I am presenting another good reason why you don’t have to allow unfrogivenss in your marriage.
Note: Just before I go into today’s business, let me show you what some readers and users of my new Christian romance novel said about the book:
“I must confess the book was very touching, it taught me a lot about tolerance and adaptability to and with any personality. If Christ could forgive us how much more us. I have promised never to condemn no matter how terribly hurt I might be.” Omotayo Hussein Business Facebook page: Akrad Global Printing Enterprise
“It’s an interesting novel that every individual must be in possession of, it portrays the way to God, there’s no being that God can’t revive and it’s not over until it’s over. Stay blessed.” Oluwafunke Omolara
I want you to check out this Christian romance novel today.
Now to the business of the day…
A very good reason why you should not allow unforgiveness in your marriage is…
So your prayers are not hindered (That’s talking about husbands now)
One of the reasons why I love Christianity is because when I set out time to pray to God that I have not seen with my physical eyes, He shows me and gives me things I can relate with physically. The prayer platform is such a fantastic gift from God to us.
Prayer of the righteous
The prayer of the righteous avails much. Daniel was so confident of receiving answers from God to his prayers that he was always going to God in prayers to seek solutions to very naughty issues. He got results on every occasion.
Now I want you to read the passage below (this is the revelation I caught from the Bible which I promised to show you in the last lecture):
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Peter was one of the notable disciples of Jesus who was married. He was given the revelation above and thank God we can read and get knowledge from it today. You have to deal with your wife with knowledge so that you don’t hinder your prayers.
That’s very clear enough. Deal with your wife according to what the Word of God says to you and according to revelation the Lord has shown you about your wife or else your prayers will be hindered or your heaven will be closed.
That got me scared when I discovered it many years ago. I had to let the revelation help me to do things right in my home.
Get knowledge and disallow unforgiveness in your home
I am sure if you have to deal with your wife with knowledge, you are not supposed to allow unforgiveness and bitterness. This is because the Word of God preaches against them.
You will be dealing with your wife with knowledge if you are ready to pray to God to help you to forgive her if she offends you. You should not allow anything to stand between you and the joy of getting answers and results from your prayers.
Let it go and let in the powers of God to work for you in your life, marriage, and home. If you don’t heed this advice, you will find out that at the end of the day, you must have lost lots of benefits that may be difficult to recover except the Lord intervenes.
Then you will know later that it’s not worth it to keep or allow unforgiveness in your marriage.
Wives should not provoke their husbands
Wives must also understand this principle. You are not expected to provoke your husband by deliberately upsetting him to allow unforgiveness. Remember that you are partners in progress.
You are also a helper to him. You need to help him to prevent him from going against the rules of God. At the end of the day, it’s going to be for the good of the whole family.
I believe you will want to read the content of the next lecture. The consequences of unforgiveness in marriage will flow downwards to a particular set of people. Please go to the next lecture.
In my new Christian romance novel, The Prostitute, Steve, the main character, was able to win the battle that was almost tearing out his marriage because he failed to allow unforgiveness and bitterness. God helped him to solve the problems despite the many troubling moments he had to go through due to his wife’s many mistakes and infidelity.
You need to read more about this novel which is already getting rave reviews online. https://sesanoguntade.com/the-prostitute-sample
Lecture 7: The flow to the Children (Stop unforgiveness in a marriage course)
You need to be careful of the flow to this set of people…
To the children…
Unforgiveness is a spiritual sin or disorder and like every other spiritual case it has the tendency of flowing downwards towards others or it has the tendency of easily rubbing off on others.
Couples must be careful of this. Whatever they must allow in their homes must be what they can defend or what is in accordance with the Word of God. This is because the children are ready receivers and imitators of their actions, behaviors, and spirituality.
Children learn unforgiveness from home
Most children learn the act of unforgiveness and other sinful habits from home. Because these sinful habits are spiritual, it has the power to stay glued to their hearts and minds for a long time.
Learn to forgive your spouse. Learn to disallow unforgiveness in the home. If you don’t, your children will become what you have become and they will gladly begin to allow unforgiveness among themselves as siblings and they will surely transfer this to you as a parent in the future. You should also understand that they will carry this to their marriages in the future too.
The Bible advises us in many places to be good examples to our children. We should be role models for them. Parents are supposed to be the first God-ordained mentors to their children.
In Proverbs 20:7, the Bible says, “The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.” What you allow and practice today will surely rub off on your children and even children’s children.
Another good reason is…
It attracts demons
“And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day.”
The angels the Bible is talking about here are demons and their duties are to do the bidding of the devil. The devil and his kingdom assign duties to these devils.
I strongly believe that unforgiveness in a home will attract the demons and their jobs will be to cause havoc in the home. Unforgiveness and bitterness will not attract the presence of God but will invite the devil into homes. Couples must beware.
I want to tell you about another revelation I saw which is also relevant to the theme of this course. Please read it below as I show you another reason why you don’t have to allow unforgiveness in your home…
It can make you miss the rapture
In a dramatic revelation, I saw myself and my wife at a party. Then all of a sudden, we heard a large bang and the noise from it made everyone run helter-skelter, while everyone including my wife was running very fast, I couldn’t run as fast as them.
As much as I tried to run as fast as these other people I couldn’t just do it. Then I woke up.
When I woke up, I tried to check and find out, through the help of the Holy Spirit, what this revelation means. I discovered that I couldn’t run as fast as others because there was a weight holding me back. I know from experience that this type of weight can be a sin.
Unforgiveness is a weight
Hebrews 12: 1-2
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Now I discovered then that I was into the sin of unforgiveness and bitterness against some people. These are sins of omission and they are as dangerous as sins of commission like fornication, adultery, stealing, and others like them.
I had to pray about the situation and also forgave everyone I could remember who had offended me.
Unforgiveness can stop you from being raptured. It’s so bad if you allow the sin of unforgiveness in your home and marriage to prevent you from inheriting heaven.
If you are harboring any unforgiveness and bitterness against your spouse, you need to pray about the situation and accept the responsibility to forgive him or her. Missing rapture is not something you want to tolerate in any way. If it means you have to forgive your spouse, you should do it immediately before it’s too late.
I hope you enjoyed this course on ending unforgiveness in marriages. It’s my hope and belief that couples will unite to fight and win the winnable battle against unfrogivenss and bitterness in their homes.
In case, you have not checked out my new Christian romance novel, The Prostitute, you should check it out today.
Steve, the main character had to fight and win the hot battle against unforgiveness and bitterness to win the heart of his wife for God and for himself and to save his marriage.
I want you to check out this Christian romance novel today.
If you buy from this link, you will be able to get additional ebook guides from me:
1. How to maintain focus and concentration
2. How to get a miracle from God with your faith
3. Wealth Codes: A Christian novel teaching money management, financial discipline, and wealth creation.
So what are you waiting for, visit the Prostitute novel to get a copy and the sweet bonuses?
Test Questions for Stop Unforgiveness in a Marriage Course
- Mention three ways the devil is fighting and appear winning the battle of marriage divorce.
- What is the sting the devil is using to tear away Christian marriages?
- Is it possible for Christian couples to use the platform of prayers to fight and win the battle of unfrogivenss in marriage? True or False
- State in one or two sentences what you learned from the dramatic vision the lecturer described under this lecture.
- Who did the lecturer describe as the sources of that dramatic vision?
- Sometimes, you may commit the sin of unforgiveness and may not know about it. True or False.
- Unforgiveness in a marriage will always stall development, breakthrough, and promotion. True or False
- Why should couples forgive themselves?
- What are the three Bible passages quoted at the beginning of this lecture to support the need for couples to forgive themselves?
- If you forgive your spouse, you are automatically forgiving yourself. True or False.
- What are the bible passages quoted under this lecture to support number 3 above?
- State the bible text which shows that couples are one flesh.
- State in one or two sentences what you learned from the story of the couple described under this lecture.
- State in one or two sentences how the Pastor was able to help the couple whose story was described under this lecture.
- Bitterness is dangerous to your own physical and spiritual health or wellbeing, it’s also very dangerous to your marriage. True or False.
- What is the quickest way to set your home and marriage on fire?
- How do you remove bitterness from your home and marriage?
- Can bitterness and unforgiveness cause hindrance to the prayers of a Christian?
- Quote the scripture which shows hindrance to prayers if husbands don’t deal with their wives with knowledge.
- What are the three reasons described under this lecture?
- Can unfrogivenss attract demons?
- Can unforgiveness make you miss rapture?
- What did you understand from the revelation describe under this lecture? State your answer in one or two sentences.