I discovered the following rules for Christian husbands in a Christian marriage in the Word of God and I’m sharing that with you today. let me also point out that I’ve lived and walked by these rules for Christian husbands over the years in my Christian marriage.
Every Christian home, marriage, family, and couples should take the following rules for Christian Homes as taught very clearly in the Word of God very seriously. Most especially, Christian husbands (this post is for them), should read this carefully and gain wisdom from it.
Paul’s rules for Christian husbands
Paul was inspired to give the rules for Christian husbands discussed below.
I want you to look at it below:
“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:17-21).
Since this book is a guide for Christian Husbands, I believe we should be concerned with verses 19 and 21 of the passage above.
Rules for Christian husbands 1: Love your wife
Let us look at verse 19:
“Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”
A basic instruction from God to Christian husbands is that they must love their wives. I discovered in my early years in a marriage that the devil will always want you to do something different from this. This is the reason why he will always make you think that you have married the wrong woman especially when you have issues in the home or marriage.
The devil will always make you remember everything she did wrong to you. It can even get to the stage that you begin to hate the presence or the sight of your wife. Some men will take it to an extent where they don’t want to have sexual relationships with their wives again or when they do it, they don’t do it with passion and love.
Women can quickly notice it when men are not having sex with them with passion and the love that is required. This can create lots of tension in the home. Sometimes, these happenings are a result of demonic manipulation and attack on a home to stop you from obeying the instruction of the Lord to you to love your wife.
The devil knows that there are consequences if you don’t obey the Word of God. This is the reason why things go wrong with your work, goals, and investments and finances.
What to do
The Spirit of God taught me a solution to this many years ago. You will always love your wife if you always position yourself to receive the love of God for you. You can only give what you have. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). God first loved us so that we can have the capacity to love others starting from our wives.
After this foundational love has been given to us and we have become born again Christians, we need to position ourselves to consistently understand and receive this love from God. This way we can always have the capacity to love our wives even when they do something wrong. Even when we correct them, we will do it in love.
You can always understand and receive the love of God if you are always studying the Word of God with the help of the Holy Spirit. Many years ago, as I mentioned in an earlier chapter, I discovered if I had a problem with my wife before going to bed at night and after I wake up in the middle of the night to pray and study the Word of God, by morning the pains and bitterness resulting from the quarrel must have disappeared.
No Christian husband can truly love his wife effectively according to the Word of God if he is not having a good relationship with the Holy Spirit and studying the Word of God consistently. Remember that you can’t give what you don’t have. You first receive love from God, then you are able to give it to your wife accordingly.
Related: What makes a Christian marriage
Rules for Christian husbands 2: Don’t be bitter about your wife
The last part of verse 19 in that passage above says you must not be bitter about them. When you allow the pains, the hatred, and the memories of what has happened in the past to stay in your mind, you will always be bitter about your wife.
Your wife is a partner with you in receiving God’s goodness and mercy and blessings. You can’t afford to be bitter about such a person. It will always disrupt God’s plans for you. I learned this in a very tough way in the past. Thank God for the Holy Spirit.
Your wife and you have become one, so if you are bitter about your wife, you are bitter about yourself. You can’t afford to be bitter about yourself. Have you asked yourself why you are always bitter about your wife who is one flesh with you? It’s because the devil wants it that way to disrupt the plans of God concerning your life and marriage.
If you hate your wife, you hate yourself. Please ponder on this and God will be with your family in Jesus name. Amen.
Prayer: God, give me the capacity to love my wife adequately. God, remove the bitterness in my heart and mind against my wife.